39 ports in 12 countries

Whoa.
OK.
So.
I did NOT keep up with this blog as well as I had intended.
But I had a reeeeeeeeally good reason, I promise. Several, actually:

1. Many of the places I visited once we left Australia/New Zealand were not heavily populated, much less so with cafes offering WiFi.
2. The WiFi on the ship is expensive and very slow.
3. In 99% of the ports since my last blog post, we docked only once.
4. I love you all, but if it's a choice between sitting in a cafe blogging or trekking through the streets of Rangoon, I'm sorry, but Burma wins.
5. I am extremely lazy.
 
So, with that combination of factors (truthfully, leaning heavily on #5), I did not submit a post for the last three itineraries; or, for those of you who count in days instead of ports like us wacky ship people do, that's over two months ago.
Again, my apologies.

But I have some cool stories! Read on!

I'll break it down by cruise, and try to leave out the mundane bits. 
Oh, and I went to the Balkans for a week, I'll throw in a dash of that too. 

Allez!

I just realized that my last blog post was made from Cairns, and there were still three ports left in that cruise  before we landed in Bali:
Larantuka, Flores, Indonesia: There's not a whole lot to report from there, except for the fact that I touched Indonesian soil for the first time. I got off the tender, walked for maybe an hour, bought an ice cream, and went back to the ship. Larantuka is a jumping-off point for the inland jungles, so those of us who couldn't escort a tour just made do. I don't reccomend it.
Komodo Island, Indonesia: Now THIS was an experience. Due to time constraints, only passengers and crew on pre-arranged tours could tender into this island, which is entirely developed by the national park service. Luckily, our awesome crew pursers had arranged for a crew-only tour of Komodo National Park to see the dragons!

a motley crew

It was pretty incredible to get to be so close to these massive lizards, especially considering our only defense was severla locals with big sticks. I'm not even joking.

The sound of these bad boys hissing and challenging each other was a guttural cacophony I won't soon forget. Also, their drool is super gross and loaded with bacteria. Like, kill-you-pretty-quickly bacteria. Again, only dudes with sticks as protection. Glad I wore my running shoes that day!

Lembar, Lombok Island, Indonesia: I escorted a tour here that went to some really beautiful Hindu temples and some local craft markets. It was pretty heavily commercialized, as we got bombarded by vendors at every stop, but I had some really tasty coffee from the nearby island of Sumatra, so that was worth the price of admission right there.

also, getting greeted by THESE dancing queens!

 And speaking of dancing queens, that brings us right up to...

Atlantis Charter: Bali-Singapore, 10 days

 If you've ever wondered what it's like to share your home and workplace with 300 fabulous gay men (and 4 fabulous lesbians), all the while cruising Southeast Asia and drinking faaaaaaaar too much champagne, well...I can tell ya.
IT'S AWESOME.

The Speedos-per-square-foot ratio was ideal.

I wish I had more photos from this particular leg of my adventures, but I was too busy doing almost nothing and just soaking up all the lovliness. As Atlantis brought along primarily their own entertainment (and even some staff!), we as a cast only performed two shows in the entire ten days of the cruise. The rest of the time, we were asked to "socialize with the guests", a task which I normally did not particularly look forward to. For these 10 days, I was in hog heaven. I barely had to lift a finger before someone would compliment me on my shoes, and five minutes later we're laughing uproariously and telling dirty secrets. This was a HUGE change from the usual passengers on the Odyssey, and I have to admit that I went through some major withdrawls when we switched back to normal life in Singapore.
This cruise stopped in Surabaya, Semarang (both on Java island, Indonesia), Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia), and an overnight in Phuket (Thailand). In the midst of all that, we crossed the equator...which any seafarer can tell you, is a big deal to do while on a ship. We held the "Queen Neptune" ceremony out by the pool...I won't go into the gory details, but it involved a lot of shenanigans, fake blood, a dead fish, and a lot of sequins.

so, standard Thursday.

I also got to co-host the "Newlywed Game" with the resident comedian and all-around rockstar Brad Loekle. I got to make all the off-color jokes I wanted, all the while dressed to the nines. I felt right at home.
As for the ports, Kuala Lumpur was an interesting place to be, even though we couldn't actually go up the Petronus Towers (they booked solid! Didn't know that was a thing!). We got there about a week after the airplane went down, and there were a lot of billboards and messages of solidarity and support for the passengers and their families posted all over the city. I can't read Malay, but I picked up enough to see that everyone was really trying to remain positive and hopeful. It would be interesting to go back there now and see what has changed.
The overnight in Phuket was sort of a bust, as it was the night before the big national elections, and a law had been put in place outlawing the sale of liquor past midnight. We worked around it, but all the bars closed down around that time, and it was an early night. We did, however, get to see a spectacular disaster called the "Simon Cabaret", a glittery mess of a ladyboy show. The theme song is still stuck in my head to this day.

"SIIIIIIIIIIIMON.....SIIIIIIIIIIIIMON..."

 One final thing I wanted to mention about this cruise...The finale of our "big" show (ROCK AT THE OPERA) is a five-part harmony arrangement of "The Prayer" (originally a duet between Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli). It's always a lovely song to sing, and I always find some couple in the audience to connect with, but this particular show really got to me. It really threw the whole charter cruise into perspective and almost made me lose it in the middle of the song. The whole song is about asking for protection and guidance, but when I sang the lines "Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace/ To a place where we'll be safe", and I looked out into the audience and saw all these wonderful people who had come on a cruise designed specifically for them, so that they WOULD be safe...this prayer had been answered for them. I wanted to hug every last one of them, and my heart broke for all my gays at home who have to hide all or part of who they are because they are NOT in a safe place. I also almost lost it on "We hope each soul will find/Another soul to love"...it's hard enough to be a straight girl attempting to find love, even in a society that supports my choice. To have to add another layer on top of that, of oppression and fear and bigotry...I can never empathize with that struggle, only sympathize, but I can honestly say that that song is forever changed for me, and I send out that Prayer every time.

love.

OK. Moving on.

like, REALLY moving.

Pentultimate Cruise:  Singapore-Mumbai, 16 days

We back into the normal swing of things in Singapore. This has to be the one port that I was really looking forward to, and was very disappointed. It's a beautiful place, incredibly clean (especially in comparison to the places we'd just been in), very modernized, and chock full of WiFi (again, sorry.), but it was toooo clean/modern/efficient for me. I felt very out of place amongst the high-rise shopping malls selling Versace and Cartier. Give me crumbly stone streets, questionable street food, or at least a little rust, please! I did, however, have a Singapore Sling at The Long Bar in the Raffles Hotel, where it was invented over 100 years ago. So there's that.
We went on to Langkawai, a resort island in Malaysia not unlike Hamilton Island in Australia was. Certainly less developed than Hamilton, but the same sense of resort luxury. I lounged on the beach, got my feet nibbled by tiny fish in a spa, and bought some questionable soup-in-a-cup. It was a lovely day.

with lovely ladies!

Next up was our return to Phuket, which I finally got to see in the daytime. I went into the town itself with Meredith and Theo, and just browsed through the markets and side streets for a few hours, before heading back to a resort hotel near the port to swim in the pool and drink cocktails in the sun. Also, a lovely day.
The highlight of this cruise for me, however, was our three days docked in Yangon (formerly Rangoon), Myanmar (formerly Burma). This country only recently opened itself up to tourism after being closed off for over 60 years, and it was an absolute headrush to be there. I didn't know a whole lot about the country's history before I got there, but I soaked up as much as I could over the three days. We were docked about an hour outside the city, which meant a lot of broken negotiating with semi-shady taxi drivers to even start to get where we wanted to go, but after that unpleasantness was over, we pulled into the city and were greeted by the sights of huge golden pagodas reaching up into the sky, busy streets filled with people still wearing the traditional longyi (sarongs)--men and women both! Many also wore the traditional sunscreen, which was a pale yellow paste they rubbed on their cheeks and sometimes also their foreheads and chins. It was a bizarre sight, but the sheer number of people who still dressed that way was pretty incredible.

speaking of incredible...

This is Shwedagon Pagoda, a massive complex in the middle of Yangon. This main stuppa--built 2600 years ago, by the by--apparently houses 8 strands of hair from Gautama Buddah. We got an impromptu tour from a former Bugghist monk, who showed us the proper way to pray at the altars dedicated to the days of week.

I prayed at Sunday's altar

 The bummer of this port was that a 10pm curfew was put on every crew member, an edict issued by the government of Myanmar. I made the most of my time there, but it would have been nice to see what sort of nightlife Yangon had to offer.
The second day, Anthony and I ventured into Yangon again, stopping at the huge market and then to the huge lake in the center of town, where the floating Karaweik Palace provided a beautiful setting for the sunset.

We <3 Myanmar!

On the third day, we sailed at about 2pm, so I went into town early by myself, and just wandered and wandered and wandered. I had bought myself a longyi the day before, and decided to wear it out in the city--I got stopped many times by locals complimenting me on it! Or, at least I think they did...?
We then had four days at sea. Ugh.
In the meantime, I "worked" as a "model" for both our resident jeweler, Rodney Rahmani, of Brilliant Stars jewelery.

wearing jewelry worth more than my life. Like, WAY more than my life.

 I was also tapped to be the guinea pig for a sari-wrapping demonstration hosted by Gita, the wife of an Indian ambassador sailing with us. I had only worn a sari once before, and it had been expertly )and quickly) wrapped by the mother of a friend, so I never really learned how the whole process went down.

ambiguously ethnic for the win!

 Well, I can know say that I learned it, and it inspired me to buy saris for myself when we docked in Mumbai. I absolutely love them!

pow!

pow!

 

Before dire cabin fever set in, we finally docked in our first Indian port, Kochi (formerly Cochin). We had a show that day, so we only had a few hours to spend in port, which we spent at a resort hotel, in the pool. I know, I know, you sense a theme. It was a very relaxing day, and I can now honestly say I ate Indian food in India. So there.
Next day was in Mangalore, and I escorted yet another tour:

Cashew factory

all-ladies choir at a Hindu temple

We made it back to the ship just as a huge monsoon rolled in...watching the port get peppered with warm rain for an hour, seeing the oil derricks lit up by lightning...it was pretty magical. India, I realized, was starting to get into my blood. And not in a life-threatening-pathogen kind of way.
Finally, we made it Mumbai (formerly Bombay), and I have to say that this is a place I HAVE TO get back to some day. I escorted a tour in the morning, which was essentially an introduction to the city. We went to the Prince of Wales Museum, stopped off at the Gateway to India and the Taj Mahal hotel (which smelled overwhelmingly of jasmine, rose, sandalwood, and violet. I wish I could have bottled that smell), and the Dobi Ghat outdoor laundry.

This city was so vibrant, and loud, and just overall spectacular...I'm bummed I only got a few hours to myself to explore it after my tour, but I know I'll be back someday. I'm not done with you yet, India.


Final Final Cruise: Mumbai-Rome, 19 days

Sadly, my camera's lens decided to start malfunctioning on me during this cruise, so all the pictures I have are only from my phone. The resolution isn't great, but it's not too terrible either.

We started our cruise with four sea days. Originally, we were slated to dock in Dubai, but for some reason, that got pulled form the itinerary a few months before.
We arrived in the port of Salalah, Oman, which--for your movie buffs out there--is where Cpt. Phillips began his ill-fated sea voyage. We, luckily, did not run into any Somali pirates, though we did get a few suspsicious-looking approaches while we sailed through the Red Sea. We got a few armed guards on at this port who stayed with us until Israel, so at least we knew our security had been upped. The port, however, was pretty incredible. Because of landing cards and bus transits, we couldn't get off the ship until well into the afternoon. I got a taxi with Anthony and Meredith and we made it into town right in the hottest part of the day. We saw the sultan's palace, the markets, bought deliciousness at a local halwa shop, a huge and beautiful new mosque comissioned by the Sultan Qaboos, and finally ended up at a giant camel farm, where we shared tea and broken English with the merchants. It was a strange and beautiful day, surrounded by sand and blinding sun. For a country I never thought I'd visit, it was a wonderful experience.

so serene.

Anthony (singer), Sayid (camel merchant)

We had six days (SIX. DAYS.) at sea following Oman. The only things that stand out for me were the Crew Tug-o-War presented for the guests (galley team won), wherein I floated in the jacuzzi wearing a mermaid costume for two hours, and going through the Suez Canal on Easter morning. Having done the Panama Canal a few times, it was interesting to experience another big-deal canal, in a completely different part of the world. I much prefer Suez, since it has much more shallow embankments, where you can actually see the surrounding areas, which were surprisingly green, despite being in the middle of a desert. There was a big sign painted on one bank that said "Welcome to Egypt", the closest I'll be to actually stepping foot in Egypt, I'm sure, for quite some time. What was bizarre was once we got through the end of the canal and entered the Mediterranean Sea, the water got significantly choppier and the temperature dropped a good 10 degrees. And so ended any more Deck 11 tanning afternoons for me!

Our first port was Haifa, Israel, where I escorted a really long and amazing tour. We went to several historical sites, including the baptismal center of the Jordan River, as well as the hotly disputed Golan Heights, from which you could see Israel, Syria, and Jordan, all converging on the Sea of Galilee. What was really incredible to me was seeing these hugely Biblically significant cities (Migdal--home of Mary Magdalene, Tiberius) in the modern world, being totally developed into resort towns. You can visit the place where Jesus walked on water, then have some decent sushi and a daquiri at the patio bar across the beach. Just mind-blowing. We also visited Capernaum, home of St. Peter, and temporary home of Jesus when he was expelled from Nazareth. Standing on the 2000-year-old marble floors, somewhere a solo trumpeter played "When the Saints Go Marching In" and "Amazing Grace", while the wind blew a breeze from the Sea of Galilee, not 100 yards away. I'm not religious by any stretch of the imagination, but historically speaking, this was a very moving experience.

Ahdod was our next port, which is a jumping-off point for Jerusalem. We had a show that day, so I didn't have enough time to make it into the Holy City, perhaps the biggest disappointment of this entire contract. Some day....some day.
We hit three ports in Greece, one of which I spent on the ship doing In Port Manning, one I spent escorting a tour, visiting a monastery and eating very tasty mezze at a local taberna, and one I spent traipsing around in a light rain with a very attractive Bosnian lad named Haris.

Corfu

I very much enjoyed those last three weeks of my contract...

We were then supposed to dock in Sorrento, Italy, but because the current was too strong for the tender boats there, we diverted to Napoli (Naples), where I wandered around the beautiful old streets and ate a pizza bigger than my head.

So, it was a good day.

Then finally finally finally we docked in Civitavecchia, the port for Rome, and the absolute end of our contract aboard the Seabourn Odyssey. I admit I was a little tearful to see the old girl for the last time as our shuttle bus to the airport pulled away and she was lost from view, but I had such a grand adventure ahead of me, I didn't have a whole lot of time to be sad. I dropped off one big bag at the storage at Fiumucino airport and proceeded to wait for four hours before I could even check in to my flight(s) to Dubrovnik. You'd think that being the biggest airport hub servicing Rome, that FCO would be more accommodating, but there were no publicly available power outlets (I fenagled my own at a check-in terminal), weirdly lax security, and only one bar in the entire international terminal serving hard liquor. The savages!!
I made it onto my flights, survived a night in the day rooms at Zurich airport, and landed in Dubrovnik, Croatia, the next day.

Which, sadly, is where I need to end this blog post because I am getting majorly distracted and exhausted! I promise I'll post about my Balkan Adventures soon (before I embark the Prinsendam in 11 days!), but for now, I hope you've enjoyed this peek into the last three cruises aboard the Odyssey. We've traveled through 6 time zones, 10 countries, and a whole lot of piecemeal notes I left myself about my eventual blog post about this whole time.

As I write this, I am lounging on the couch at my brother David's house in Sacramento. I'm in California for a little under two more weeks, and then I get flown out with my cast to Amsterdam to board the Prinsendam for Holland America Line. We'll be sailing the Baltic for three months. There will be much more reliable and plentiful WiFi up there, so maybe I won't wait two months to get some news out to ya!

Lots of love to you all, and until next time....

Not a bad way to spend four months.